Am I having a near mid-life crisis? Is that what this is? Is this the equivalent of (*gulp!) buying a Harley or red sports car and dating a hot blonde?
All of this and more (MUCH more) is what went on in my busy brain when I decided to take up martial arts in my 40s – specifically taekwondo and specifically right after I turned 4-Ohhhhhhhh.
For five years I had sat on the sidelines watching my son Lucas, 10, progress through the ranks of Taekwondo Central’s membership.
True. It was something I had considered. I like being active. I wouldn’t be the ONLY mum doing it I had thought to myself. But comfort zones are…well…comfortable!
It’s hard to say exactly what it was that finally pushed me off that little bench on the sidelines and onto the floor. Looking back it was possibly the result of a perfect storm. Well-timed women’s self defense course presented by TC’s 6th Dan Black Belt Master Justin Warren which I seriously enjoyed and opened the door to these odd yet warm feelings of empowerment.
Committed encouragement from people I admire. And finally, (but most significantly) the loss of a loved one far too soon which inspired me to just LIVE!
I turned up to my first training session a complete bundle of nerves. It felt like Lucas and I had undergone this mind-bending role reversal because there he was being all sweet and encouraging, tenderly patting my arm and telling me how proud he was of me for having a go (*heart melts*).
I was utterly terrified that I would make a complete goose of myself in front of Master Justin, the other students and (worst of all) the other parents I had previously been sitting with on the sidelines. Ridiculous when I think about it now but self doubt is a weird and persistent beast.
Master Justin has coached literally thousands of beginners all the way to Black Belt level so in hindsight, pretty sure he’s used to working with students who are just starting out – even uncoordinated over 40 ones! The other students are busy doing their own thing and could care less how wonky my early kicking attempts were. And finally, the other parents are busy watching their own kids (of course!) and had next to no interest in critiquing my efforts.
Despite all my early irrational fears, I kept going back for more. I had a fierce new training buddy in Juliani Wayan who I didn’t want to let down and I sure as heck did not want to give Lucas the impression his mum was a quitter.
On top of that, bit by bit and to my astonishment, I began to realize I was actually loving it.
Fast forward a little to now and I have added a couple more stripes to my belt and in the process, some other really incredible things have happened…
I discovered I really (like REALLY) love punching and kicking. Who knew that in your 40s you could discover a whole other thing that you would just find to be so much fun? That’s heartening don’t you think?
Turns out I’m WAY more determined than I had ever suspected. That’s code for stubborn. Yep, I’m really, REALLY stubborn but it actually helps when you’re learning a new skill. Setting regular goals (like a belt level per term) that don’t come easily, that you HAVE to work towards, is so bloomin’ fulfilling. Don’t tell anyone but I really am so chuffed with myself.
taekwondo
When you try something new that not many other people are doing, you create an instant connection with a whole bunch of amazing new people because you’re sharing an experience that’s totally unique. I really love my new Taekwondo Central tribe and am so grateful to have found them.
Above all else, I think I may look back on this as one of the most significant things I have done as a parent for Lucas.
It is staggeringly joyous to be sharing a common interest with him like this. We set goals together, motivate and encourage each other and he gives me a hiding in sparring practice, bruised shins (It’s supposed to be non contact Lucas!) and all! We love training together. Believe me when I say this kind of bond is not something you can achieve with even the most committed support from the sidelines. You actually have to get in there, bare feet and all, and do it WITH THEM.
Don’t get me wrong, I probably HAVE had a few goose-like moments in my taekwondo journey so far. I suspect there’ll be quite a few more…I’m talking about you spin hook kick!
But being a bit goosey matters little now when I consider everything Lucas and I have gained as a result. It’s been a million times worth it.
So take it from me. If you have entered 2018 and the vaguely middle part (I said VAGUELY!) of your expectant life with a desire to make things better AND an inkling that taekwondo classes might be the answer, here are my Top Tips for starting taekwondo in your 40s:
Work on flexibility
To me, this guy is NUMERO UNO in importance. Head-height kicks are the signature taekwondo move and unless you work on flexibility, you won’t be kicking anyone above the toenail. Much to my initial disgust, flexibility is just not something you can fake. But what I happily discovered is that you really can do stuff to improve it and you WILL notice the difference – pretty quickly even!
Flexibility decreases naturally as we age but working to improve it (stretching exercises every day if you can but at least three times a week) comes with a whole raft of associated health and wellness benefits like improved blood flow, less aches and pains and greater ability to complete everyday tasks without discomfort.
Practice
Training once or twice a week is not going to cut the mustard when you’re in your 40s. If you want to see real improvement in those kicks, you’re going to need to put in some time at home as well to build up that muscle memory in time for your next grading. It will hurt. Deal with it.
Your body is working in ways it has NEVER had to work before. Say HELLO to your Hip Flexors! During that first term I could not believe how sore I felt. My entire legs would ache and twitch after every session. Don’t get me wrong! It wasn’t excruciating or anything but yeah, it hurts. I’m telling you this now so you don’t have to be scared when it happens to you. It’s totally normal and not going to cause you any long-lasting damage. And guess what? After a while, it gets better!
In the meantime though, all those home remedies you’ve heard about really do help – hot baths, Epsom salts, massage, foam rolling, anti-inflammatory creams.
Listen to your body
Having said that, you get used to ignoring the groans and murmurs from your newly-discovered leg muscles, but listen up if that murmur turns into a SHOUT or worse, a SCREAM. You really do come to understand which pains are the ones you should be taking seriously as a sign to slow down or stop.
You don’t want to compromise your progress altogether by ignoring symptoms that need attention. The good thing about doing this in your 40s is that there is no real sense of urgency to reach your goals. You’re not working to a deadline. Take some time off if you need to. Heal properly and start again.
Celebrate the journey
Did you know that only 1 in 20,000 people who take up martial arts, actually ever make it to Black Belt? One day I hope to be one of them. I can’t actually visualise it yet. “I will need to be able to do wharrrrrrt???”
For now though, I’m just happy taking baby steps in that general direction. Every little improvement I can see and feel, every stripe on my belt. I take a moment to acknowledge the wins, no matter how small. Sounds kinda cheesy I guess but here’s where my awesome new tribe comes in. They understand the significance of the baby steps where others might not so much. They’ll join you in celebrating them, just as you will take joy in helping celebrate theirs.
So what are you waiting for? Age really has absolutely NOTHING to do with it. If you want it, get out there and (just) do it. I’ll see you on the floor.
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Martial Arts of West End, operated by Master Erik Hubley and his A-1 crew of instructors, has been a fantastic experience for my daughter who has attended for the past three years and for the whole family even though she is currently the only student in the family. Not only has it imparted priceless qualities such as self discipline and exercise for good health, it has helped bring all of us together in self discipline goals and in moral development. It has also given my daughter a sense of purpose, lessons in achieving goals, and the truly priceless gift of a strong self esteem and a moral compass and maturity that is rare even in many adults I know.
I just cannot emphasize how important this has been as my daughter enters her teen years in a world that too often rewards for little work and where immediate gratification is too easy to obtain. Also she is learning physical skills related mainly through the tae kwon do style of martial arts... she discovers new abilities that when I was a kid seemed out of reach. I mean things ... too many to mention ... a small example include effective punching and blocking, kicking above her head, doing splits, handstands, and sophisticated self defense techniques which I have seen in mixed martial arts competitions.
I along with her mother and grandmother are all filled with gratitude for finding Martial Arts of West End along with Master Hubley and his amazing, motivational staff of martial arts experts. After three years of hard work (remember that students progress at their own pace and the timeframe does vary widely) our daughter is now two belts away from her black belt and let me assure you she has earned each and every belt along the way. I have the utmost confidence that she will be a competent martial arts student on a long and rewarding road to self fulfillment AFTER she earns her first degree black belt (Master Hubley is sixth degree) just as she is now.
In closing let me say I've priced other schools and Martial Arts of West End is a great deal comparatively, but then again it would be at any price. We look forward to seeing you and your family in white belt class!
Martial Arts of West End has proven to be a positive and healthy activity for the kids. Learning kicks, punches and throws in a positive and reaffirming environment has made this a well-rounded option us. Also, they take COVID-19 cleaning precautions and masking seriously, so I have confidence that this is a healthy and safe facility to visit during these unpredictable times.
My family adores this studio. The instructors are both knowledgeable and great with kids. It's neither a "participation trophy" type of studio nor the sort of studio that's so strict it's no longer fun.
My son attends the after school program. He enjoys it so much! The staff is attentive, kind and helpful to all students. The program is well structured and organized. The facility is always clean and inviting. My son has learned discipline and self control through the martial arts. He has also learned honesty and integrity as well. The kiddos shout “winning spirit” at the end of their class and I do think they are developing just that!
My daughter started with Martial Arts World of West End at the Three Chopt location in 2008. Soon after my oldest daughter and I joined her on the mat. After a few years at that location, we moved to the Glen Eagles Shopping Center. Windows and sun were a common thread that accompanied our classes. The facility is clean and inviting. In the past 2 years, they have acquired the facility next door and made a bigger room for the A+ students plus a smaller training room. All of this space is ready to have YOU join our classes. The front desk staff members are extremely helpful answering any questions that come up. The instructors are great and keep the classes different and engaging. The A+ staff is great with the kids. Come join us on the mat. You can take 5 weeks of unlimited classes for $11.00! Where else can you get that?
It is not just Martial Arts classes! Martial Arts World of West End has a wonderful after school program and they pick up from the school. They have homework time, snack time, game time, as well as class time. My daughter has become a different child since she began attending the after school program. She is respectful, her grades in school have improved, she is more focused in school, it has boosted her self confidence and self worth, and she has become quite the little Martial Artist. I highly recommend it!
My wife and son attended the classes here for almost 2 years and learnt a lot from Master Hubley. All masters are helpful, cooperative and understanding. They know their stuff so well and yet they all are down to earth. Highly recommend this place for serious learner’s!
Kudos to Master Hubley and entire team!
This is an amazing place for many reasons. In July 2021 I started training with my 5yo son, to bond with him and get some exercise done. It wasn’t only good for my relationship with my son, but I also lost weight, made many friends, my son’s self control and discipline improved a lot… Master Hubley is a really good teacher, and really knows how to work with kids and adults together or separate. I highly recommend taking at least a month of classes and seeing for yourself.
This is such a great school! They honestly care about you as a person first, not just a member. They also honestly teach you the arts and how to apply it in real life situations. This school dosen’t “sell belts” like other schools in the area; trust me... I did my homework, and did the trials; this is the best school in the area, maybe even Richmond
I have been a student of martial arts for more than 20 years and am a certified instructor in more than one art. I took my 2 young children here 5 years ago, and was impressed by the teaching acumen and the firm but fair attitude of Master Hubley and his cadre of instructors. While it may not be the most “martial” of martial arts schools, the children learn discipline, manners, self-respect, leadership, physical fitness, teamwork and myriad values that aid them them in achieving higher plateaus in their journey of life. Master Hubley is a true master in his mannerisms with children and his martial arts acumen. I am proud to send my children here and will continue to do so because it has been such a positive influence on their lives (self confidence, fitness and overall well being). Not my primary concern, but it is also one of the most affordable and enriching after-school programs available.
Martial Arts of West End has been in my life for 7 years, and has become a passion of mine, I haven't only grown as a person physically, but in other aspects like mentally, morally, and financially. From utilizing strong self defense to beautiful traditional forms and breaking your limits even when you think you can't, Martial Arts of West End is the place to be, with amazing instructors and the one and only Master Erik Hubley, you can accomplish anything. MAWE becomes your family always backing you up and being there for you, I don't know what I'd do without it, I love it!!!
Martial Arts of West End is fantastic! The instructors are top notch, the curriculum is fast paced & fun and everyone treats you like family. Such an amazing workout and great life lessons. My son and I love MAWE!
I simply can't say enough about Martial Arts of West End! Each instructor is fantastic and unique and brings their own style and perspective to the common values of the teachings. The family culture is welcoming and inclusive and creates an atmosphere that is always positive, encouraging, and supportive. Going to class several times a week has become a special bonding opportunity for my daughter and me to which we truly look forward. Whatever your motives -- be it learning self-defense, physical fitness, or just a hobby to keep busy -- Martial Arts of West End will no doubt exceed your expectations and help you become the very best version of yourself in the process.
Martial Arts of West End is a fantastic place to train martial arts. Classes are fun, the people are friendly, and the instructors take the time to tailor instruction to the individual. They work with people with any sort of obstacle or challenge to best meet their needs. Training at this school is rigorous and challenging, but it is also accessible to anyone, young or not-so-young, fit or ready to become fit, new or experienced.
I can't say enough about this place. My kids have been there a few years now and I couldn't ask for a better place for them. Master Hubley not only teaches martial arts, but true deep down core values that so many children lack today. He also maintains great relationships and communication with parents. He truly cares whole heartedly for each individual child and their families. For our family martial arts of west end is not just an after school program- they're also a PART of our family
Exceptional, nurturing, empowering, confidence-building, mentally and physically challenging, and so much more. These are just a few of the words I could use to describe this wonderful school.
We were fortunate to become part of the Martial Arts of West End family a few years ago. I had studied martial arts many years earlier, but wanted to begin again and give my kids the benefit of martial arts training. Master Hubley and all the instructors immediately drew us in with their family-friendly program and their genuine interest in our success.
Master Hubley and his team run a wonderful program. They teach kids discipline, respect, self-confidence, and the power of setting/achieving your goals. If you are up for it, they will teach parents the same thing. Join a great program that you can do with your children. Its well worth it.
Martial Arts of West End provides outstanding after school and summer camp care for kids!! We've been members of Master Hubley's school for almost 7 years for two kids and I can honestly say that we've never considered another option once we started! Outstanding in every aspect!
Me and my 5 years old son joined the martial arts seven months back with apprehension because this was our first time but I am happy to say that Master Hubley, Master Davis and all other instructors and members are very cooperating, helpful and patient with us as well as with all other students. I highly recommend this martial art class. This is a great place to learn taekwando.
Front desk staff is also cheerful and helpful. Lots of respect to Master Hubley! Thank you Sir.